Food for Thought

A leopard doesn't change his spots

We hear that, we believe it and then we think somehow we found an exception to the rule. I think the real meaning to this quote is that some people suppress their behavior, hide their behavior even can go their whole lives without repeating the behavior but....
Somewhere deep within them the evil habit lies and if given the opportunity, BAM. It creeps out and hurts someone who actually was dumb enough to believe they were exempt from said behavior.
Don't get me wrong I think there are a lot of success stories. The husband who never cheats again, the alcoholic that never drinks again. The drug user that never uses again. This is amazing and should inspire people to forge ahead to achieve greatness.
I just also think there are people with good intentions but they are weak and give into temptation. The alcoholic who drinks once in awhile and knows their actions will hurt their loved ones. The husband who cheats again even though he loves his wife. These stories are sad and split families and friendships leaving us with the question...
How do you help someone who won't help themselves? Do you throw in the towel or continue to live in fear of the repetitive behavior? Do we feel sorry for these folks or do we often say " You made your bed..etc".  Do we offer forgiveness at the expense of our own feelings?
It is hard to separate the heart from the mind. Good luck to all those struggling during this holiday season. May you find peace and happiness.

Elf on the Shelf season of torture

Maybe the dinosaur will eat him and I will no longer jump out of bed and run to move Chippy before the kids wake. I am sure Ms. Carol Aebersold is laughing all the way to the bank now that her Christmas tradition has thrown up all over America. All you new parents out there.... go ahead and try to not participate and I guarantee you will lose that battle and next thing you know some little boy or girl elf will appear and you to will be scrambling for new places for a month to put the dumb elf. In my house there is no avoiding the little ones touching Chippy so he always has to be up high or tears will flow as Jillian bites his head and the others believe he loses his elf magic.  Thanks to Pinterest (sarcasm) you can find new and exciting ways to pose your elf.  Some not so g rated though( maybe that is facebook). Now my kids are saying "Why doesn't Chippy respond to my letter? My friends elves write back.") Really??? I told them maybe our elf was dumb and never learned to write (True story, bad mom moment). Inevitably our elf forgets to move at least one or two night during his stay. When that happens I tell my kids they must have been bad so he decided to sleep instead of travelling to his home for the night and Santa knows if the elves don't come there is no good news to report. Their behavior throughout the day never seems threatened by the elf anyway. And btw it was my kids that were not even clever enough to come up with a new name for the elf. Sadie says she dropped the E from his name to give him his new identity. Well here's to twenty more days of jumping out of bed!

Simplifying clutter

As I was doing my normal daily routine I started thinking...
Why can I not keep my house clean?  Why is everything always scattered about? Why are there always loads of laundry to be put away?
Then I thought... Why am I asking myself these questions?
I mean a lot of kids live here, that is the answer. So then the next question was... How can I make this clean up thing easier?
Well I have the answer......
Instead of saying "NO" about 100 times daily I need to re child proof.  Yes I know the old school moms out there that say " I never moved anything when my kids were little." Well here's a news flash... If they made child proofing kits you damn well would've used them and stopped smacking hands.  Times change and by the way... now we don't smoke around our kids either. Oh and kids ride in car seats too...
So as I was using the magic eraser on several drawings on walls in a few or more rooms I decided that either I move the pens to a remote location like my make up which now lives in the top of my closet. Or I can yell at my husband until he puts new latches on every cabinet in this house!!!
Now let me say if you are a mom who can not child proof and just say no my hat goes off to you. However, 3 kids 4 and under and lots of mess from the older kids is leading me to reevaluate!!!
Oh and for the record, the kids always break the latches so we are on our 3rd round of latching again. I have tried to impose the no kitchen rule unless I am in there but it never works. Now if I could only find a way to keep them from climbing on the counters.

Simple things are so important

Listen up....
                   To all you people who want to be parents... Your responsibilities do not end when your kids turn 18 so don't even have them if you think that happens. Also, you have to still take care of your kids after they stop pooping in their pants, stop needing their shoes tied and food cut up. You have to take them to the doctors, make sure they do well in school, take them to the dentist every 6 months. As well as cleaning their clothes and being their personal chauffeur you also have the responsibility to guide them to be respectable citizens. 18 comes quick and no one wants another loser lurking around so you have to make sure you have what it takes to do all you can to ensure you are not adding to the welfare society. Hey, sometimes good people have bad kids. It happens and we all feel for them but let's be honest.. that is not the norm...
               However once in awhile great people are born from bad stock and they overcome their situation and never go back. These people become successful and good parents. God must know they are special so they grow up and the things people take for granted are things they never miss. Simple things like taking their kids to the dentist regularly and making school and church important.
              I know someone that special and happy to have that person in my life..

What a day in my life

AHHH. Today... Just another Thursday and..........
A broken AC, a broken van in need of a backordered part not available in the USA at the moment, 2 bloody noses, an eye dr apt ( which left me blind for a bit after dilation), some braces removed (Sadie's teeth look great), a few fights... enough to leave some in a really bad mood however this is life for me so I shake off the stress and look to the positive....
A minor AC repair, a loaner van since mine will be awhile, a positive 20/20 vision appointment (lets not talk about reading though), some really great friends and cousin (Kathy, Jess) to help me out..
And one great laugh when Kathy said they would probably give me a shitty loaner when they took a look at my dirty van and I was given the same vehicle as mine but brand new and shiny!!!
All of these things are a part of every day life... lots of crying kids, occasional fights, lots of spills and toys all over. I get angry sometimes but only for a moment except if....
Joey recently told me (and he is a man of few words) that as soon as someone pisses me off I am ready to just write them off and I hold a grudge (true) forever and I need to stop it. This really bothered me so I thought about it for awhile and then decided that although I can be hot headed at times ( I love throwing things) that really whenever I feel the need to "write someone off" they may have done me wrong but mostly they have done my kids wrong or maybe even my husband. Don't mess with my young or I might have to go all mama bear on your ass.
So the bad days don't get me down. You will rarely find me crying over these things but anyone that knows me can understand when I say that whenever my kids are treated unfairly those people will be evicted from the Golden home with no chance of seeing my HOH room!

Regrets and Penance

I have done a lot of wrong things in my life. Spent some time being a not so good person occasionally. I think if the wrong things lead you to be a better person than it all happened for a reason. We all have regrets. My regrets when I was younger were self fulfilling. Kind of like.. If I had done this then these things would be better for ME.. Now that I am older my regrets are more about how the things I did affected the people around me. That has become my biggest regret. I can say that I am not a hypocrite but I do now sometimes think I am an expert and give my opinion freely.( Please just nod and agree. ) Anyway Live with your heart and live by God!! It pays off. Although I still wish my kids could have the equality that I never had I am thankful they have the parents I always wanted ( no offense Gladys and Earl.. I appreciate all the love and that is why I am who I am. )and always wanted to be. Another regret for earlier years that I have made up for with actions and not words!

Lets share some family stories

I know many people believe they live in dysfunctional families but let me just say that if awards were given for dysfunctionality in families I would win hands down! In my world my ex husband has a relationship with my parents and I don't. Let me be clear when I say that this may be just one example of why I don't speak to my mother. I would give the laundry list but I am not writing a book today. I was just outside helping Mitch pack his car up for college when he told me that he had lunch with his dad, stepmom and siblings last weekend at his grandparents house (and not his dads parents.) Don't get me wrong I am glad for Mitch that he sees all of them but at that moment it never became more clear to me that I truly made the right decision when I disowned my mother and reclaimed my values. Also let me state that as of late I have been struggling and reevaluating our current status after she reached out to me, wondering if maybe this time she actually had changed. How does it go " a leopard doesn't change its spots." Maybe one day I will actually put down all the sordid  details of my life on paper. Also I will for the record state that there have been times of happiness with my mother but I also over looked a lot of the obvious to achieve that. Also there isn't hate in my veins, sometimes jealousy when others are sharing times together as a family but I AM AT PEACE! I no longer care about the lies that are spoken so she feels better about herself. I love living the truth. The truth that I will always love her and truly harbor no resentment anymore. I have forgiveness in my heart and soul. Only my forgiveness also includes forgiving myself for what will never be again. 
Since we all live with some dysfuntionality I encourage you to comment on the blog page. Write it out and see others stories.