Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time we should be rejoicing in the coming of the Lord.
How come December seems to bring the most stressful time of the year? We blame commercialism, flu season, visiting relatives. The  stress is different for all of us.
As for me....
I don't get all caught up in these things. I go into the season with respect for what Christmas really stands for. However bad news finds me every December. I am not sure why it happens like that. Deaths, stomach viruses, colds, etc...
I just want a healthy Christmas for my family to really enjoy the season but yet another year of disappointment..
Really 2013 was fine until December which brought an unexpected miscarriage as well a tooth implant gone bad for Joey. Sadie's retainer was chewed by my mother's dog yesterday. Oh yeah and Violet has a fever and cough.
All of these things combined will not stop my family from heading to church tomorrow to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus. Of course we will also be praying that next December is finally the one that brings a stress free holiday. One can only keep hoping that the bad luck of December passes from the Golden house one of these year.
Merry Christmas my dear friends and Good blessings for 2014.

A great loss to our family

How can you love someone you never met? Well it happens.
Everyone likes to joke around about how many kids we have. Letting everyone know there is another one coming gets many replies? Most are "Is this it?". Once the critical time of the first trimester passes along with the blood work saying all is fine and "It's a boy" we feel pretty confident shouting it to the world.
Yesterday at 15 weeks at a routine appt we found that out precious baby had no heartbeat. A sonogram confirmed it and like that it was over.
No matter how many children we have this is awful and sad and we are devastated.
Then we had to tell our kids, another gut wrenching event. Off to the hospital we went and before they can even get me into surgery my water breaks and labor begins.
This was a truly horrifying experience for Joey and myself. Our love and our strong faith in God will get us through this.
I wanted to share this with all of you so that if you ever experience a similar situation know that you are not alone and it is okay to love and grieve someone you never met. My baby is in heaven with my family that went before us and I hope he is loved as much as I love him.

Food for Thought

A leopard doesn't change his spots

We hear that, we believe it and then we think somehow we found an exception to the rule. I think the real meaning to this quote is that some people suppress their behavior, hide their behavior even can go their whole lives without repeating the behavior but....
Somewhere deep within them the evil habit lies and if given the opportunity, BAM. It creeps out and hurts someone who actually was dumb enough to believe they were exempt from said behavior.
Don't get me wrong I think there are a lot of success stories. The husband who never cheats again, the alcoholic that never drinks again. The drug user that never uses again. This is amazing and should inspire people to forge ahead to achieve greatness.
I just also think there are people with good intentions but they are weak and give into temptation. The alcoholic who drinks once in awhile and knows their actions will hurt their loved ones. The husband who cheats again even though he loves his wife. These stories are sad and split families and friendships leaving us with the question...
How do you help someone who won't help themselves? Do you throw in the towel or continue to live in fear of the repetitive behavior? Do we feel sorry for these folks or do we often say " You made your bed..etc".  Do we offer forgiveness at the expense of our own feelings?
It is hard to separate the heart from the mind. Good luck to all those struggling during this holiday season. May you find peace and happiness.

Elf on the Shelf season of torture

Maybe the dinosaur will eat him and I will no longer jump out of bed and run to move Chippy before the kids wake. I am sure Ms. Carol Aebersold is laughing all the way to the bank now that her Christmas tradition has thrown up all over America. All you new parents out there.... go ahead and try to not participate and I guarantee you will lose that battle and next thing you know some little boy or girl elf will appear and you to will be scrambling for new places for a month to put the dumb elf. In my house there is no avoiding the little ones touching Chippy so he always has to be up high or tears will flow as Jillian bites his head and the others believe he loses his elf magic.  Thanks to Pinterest (sarcasm) you can find new and exciting ways to pose your elf.  Some not so g rated though( maybe that is facebook). Now my kids are saying "Why doesn't Chippy respond to my letter? My friends elves write back.") Really??? I told them maybe our elf was dumb and never learned to write (True story, bad mom moment). Inevitably our elf forgets to move at least one or two night during his stay. When that happens I tell my kids they must have been bad so he decided to sleep instead of travelling to his home for the night and Santa knows if the elves don't come there is no good news to report. Their behavior throughout the day never seems threatened by the elf anyway. And btw it was my kids that were not even clever enough to come up with a new name for the elf. Sadie says she dropped the E from his name to give him his new identity. Well here's to twenty more days of jumping out of bed!

Simplifying clutter

As I was doing my normal daily routine I started thinking...
Why can I not keep my house clean?  Why is everything always scattered about? Why are there always loads of laundry to be put away?
Then I thought... Why am I asking myself these questions?
I mean a lot of kids live here, that is the answer. So then the next question was... How can I make this clean up thing easier?
Well I have the answer......
Instead of saying "NO" about 100 times daily I need to re child proof.  Yes I know the old school moms out there that say " I never moved anything when my kids were little." Well here's a news flash... If they made child proofing kits you damn well would've used them and stopped smacking hands.  Times change and by the way... now we don't smoke around our kids either. Oh and kids ride in car seats too...
So as I was using the magic eraser on several drawings on walls in a few or more rooms I decided that either I move the pens to a remote location like my make up which now lives in the top of my closet. Or I can yell at my husband until he puts new latches on every cabinet in this house!!!
Now let me say if you are a mom who can not child proof and just say no my hat goes off to you. However, 3 kids 4 and under and lots of mess from the older kids is leading me to reevaluate!!!
Oh and for the record, the kids always break the latches so we are on our 3rd round of latching again. I have tried to impose the no kitchen rule unless I am in there but it never works. Now if I could only find a way to keep them from climbing on the counters.

Simple things are so important

Listen up....
                   To all you people who want to be parents... Your responsibilities do not end when your kids turn 18 so don't even have them if you think that happens. Also, you have to still take care of your kids after they stop pooping in their pants, stop needing their shoes tied and food cut up. You have to take them to the doctors, make sure they do well in school, take them to the dentist every 6 months. As well as cleaning their clothes and being their personal chauffeur you also have the responsibility to guide them to be respectable citizens. 18 comes quick and no one wants another loser lurking around so you have to make sure you have what it takes to do all you can to ensure you are not adding to the welfare society. Hey, sometimes good people have bad kids. It happens and we all feel for them but let's be honest.. that is not the norm...
               However once in awhile great people are born from bad stock and they overcome their situation and never go back. These people become successful and good parents. God must know they are special so they grow up and the things people take for granted are things they never miss. Simple things like taking their kids to the dentist regularly and making school and church important.
              I know someone that special and happy to have that person in my life..

What a day in my life

AHHH. Today... Just another Thursday and..........
A broken AC, a broken van in need of a backordered part not available in the USA at the moment, 2 bloody noses, an eye dr apt ( which left me blind for a bit after dilation), some braces removed (Sadie's teeth look great), a few fights... enough to leave some in a really bad mood however this is life for me so I shake off the stress and look to the positive....
A minor AC repair, a loaner van since mine will be awhile, a positive 20/20 vision appointment (lets not talk about reading though), some really great friends and cousin (Kathy, Jess) to help me out..
And one great laugh when Kathy said they would probably give me a shitty loaner when they took a look at my dirty van and I was given the same vehicle as mine but brand new and shiny!!!
All of these things are a part of every day life... lots of crying kids, occasional fights, lots of spills and toys all over. I get angry sometimes but only for a moment except if....
Joey recently told me (and he is a man of few words) that as soon as someone pisses me off I am ready to just write them off and I hold a grudge (true) forever and I need to stop it. This really bothered me so I thought about it for awhile and then decided that although I can be hot headed at times ( I love throwing things) that really whenever I feel the need to "write someone off" they may have done me wrong but mostly they have done my kids wrong or maybe even my husband. Don't mess with my young or I might have to go all mama bear on your ass.
So the bad days don't get me down. You will rarely find me crying over these things but anyone that knows me can understand when I say that whenever my kids are treated unfairly those people will be evicted from the Golden home with no chance of seeing my HOH room!

Regrets and Penance

I have done a lot of wrong things in my life. Spent some time being a not so good person occasionally. I think if the wrong things lead you to be a better person than it all happened for a reason. We all have regrets. My regrets when I was younger were self fulfilling. Kind of like.. If I had done this then these things would be better for ME.. Now that I am older my regrets are more about how the things I did affected the people around me. That has become my biggest regret. I can say that I am not a hypocrite but I do now sometimes think I am an expert and give my opinion freely.( Please just nod and agree. ) Anyway Live with your heart and live by God!! It pays off. Although I still wish my kids could have the equality that I never had I am thankful they have the parents I always wanted ( no offense Gladys and Earl.. I appreciate all the love and that is why I am who I am. )and always wanted to be. Another regret for earlier years that I have made up for with actions and not words!

Lets share some family stories

I know many people believe they live in dysfunctional families but let me just say that if awards were given for dysfunctionality in families I would win hands down! In my world my ex husband has a relationship with my parents and I don't. Let me be clear when I say that this may be just one example of why I don't speak to my mother. I would give the laundry list but I am not writing a book today. I was just outside helping Mitch pack his car up for college when he told me that he had lunch with his dad, stepmom and siblings last weekend at his grandparents house (and not his dads parents.) Don't get me wrong I am glad for Mitch that he sees all of them but at that moment it never became more clear to me that I truly made the right decision when I disowned my mother and reclaimed my values. Also let me state that as of late I have been struggling and reevaluating our current status after she reached out to me, wondering if maybe this time she actually had changed. How does it go " a leopard doesn't change its spots." Maybe one day I will actually put down all the sordid  details of my life on paper. Also I will for the record state that there have been times of happiness with my mother but I also over looked a lot of the obvious to achieve that. Also there isn't hate in my veins, sometimes jealousy when others are sharing times together as a family but I AM AT PEACE! I no longer care about the lies that are spoken so she feels better about herself. I love living the truth. The truth that I will always love her and truly harbor no resentment anymore. I have forgiveness in my heart and soul. Only my forgiveness also includes forgiving myself for what will never be again. 
Since we all live with some dysfuntionality I encourage you to comment on the blog page. Write it out and see others stories.

Riley Strong.. an amazing girl..an amazing family

Everyone has a bad day here and there. Any mother and father knows there are days when we think we will never survive another like this one. Kids screaming and fighting and other things go wrong like the roof leaking, a bill you can't pay, a fight with your spouse, an appliance goes up and we say " God doesn't give you more than you can handle". At that moment we think God must think we can handle a lot. Well...

This is a story about a family dear to my heart. Many years ago a young woman named Wendy started getting her hair done by me. We shared a mutual friend. She got married and had a beautiful baby girl named Rebecca. Like all married people they had a rough patch and then along came another perfect baby girl, Riley. The second of what became three girls. Riley was just as well behaved and easy as the first but over time things just didn't seem right. Turns out after many tests that Riley has Angelmans syndrome. Riley doesn't speak and it was a struggle to learn to walk along with many other things. Thankfully Wendy and her husband Jimmy were just blessed that Riley didn't suffer from the health problems that plagued so many with the same syndrome. Until.. the seizures started and then long stays at the hospital. Finally after trying many things Riley once again was healthy and thriving and more adventurous, even learning to roller skate with assistance. Wendy never let Riley's condition slow her down, never uses it as an excuse to stop enjoying life. She is  definitely the root of the saying " When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. " Always upbeat even when her own health wasn't the greatest. Wendy takes her kids to the beach, they play sports, she takes them in the pool. She is just a great mom with three great kids.

A few days ago while unpacking from a beach trip Riley wandered off and fell in the pool. Wendy found her just a couple minutes later and along with her oldest daughter performed CPR and Riley is on a ventilator at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Imagine how a parent must feel. This was a horrible accident that happened to good people. I am sure this leaves this family wondering... why them??? Haven't they been handed enough to deal with, enough for a lifetime?

I beg you to keep Riley in your prayers. Pray for this family to stay together whole here on earth. And also the next time you have a bad day remember this story. Don't think about it as being luckier than them. Think about the strength, love and courage they have and strive to have the same in your own lives.

God Bless Jimmy, Wendy, Becca, Riley and Mackensie King

Camping and cats

Every day of my life is blog worthy. I just run out of time to write daily. It's actually quite a shame because funny things happen everyday around here.

For the first time in quite awhile Joey and I had 5 days together with the kids camping. We had a great time once he stopped complaining about all the things I do wrong.  See Anal Annie (aka Joey) thinks that the kids shouldn't break anything or dirty up anything. I think that only happens if you have a normal amount of children and I am thinking that only reduces the odds slightly. I am not sure why he thinks that the trailer would fare better than the house and all the broken furniture and clutter around here. However we truly had a great time and I am reminded how much I miss him on a daily basis. The kids hit some milestones and it was nice that Joey got to see them. Violet stopped giving everyone dirty looks and started talking and just telling everyone what she thinks of them. Charlotte is swimming without swim aids. (maybe now she will finally get big enough to give up the ninny) Oh and lets not forget the proud moment once we got home when Violet took off her diaper and pooped in the yard like a dog. I am so glad Joey didn't miss that moment. Also Sadie broke Joey down and he gave in to a new kitten.

We promised the kids a kitten and we made good on that. Yesterday we took all my kids plus 2 extras to animal control. We are quite a loud crew so I am not surprised that a cat got spooked and scratched Aaron. (always Aaron who gets hurt) Poor cat got quarantined and we had to file a report with the county. Really!!! Well we adopted a cute little kitten and then I got myself a discount kitty($16). A nice one eyed older cat with a crooked tail. Joey didn't have to tell me twice that I could go back and save the ugly cat.(He will never say but he wanted him too) I am thinking this is his ninth life so lets hope he doesn't think the needle would've been better than spending his days in this crazy house.

Just for informational purposes.... There are lots of cats needing good homes at animal control. Many are free because the people who gave them up prepaid for them to go to a new home. If you have room in your heart and home try one.. Discount kitties are pretty grateful to have you.

Summer.. here it comes!!

As a child I remember counting the days til summer break.  As an adult and mother to many I no longer count the days until school lets out. I begin counting the days until school starts again.  Let me clarify....  Since I spend all my days at home with the little kids it may not seem like a big deal to have the 2 big kids join them.  However chaos begins daily when the school bus pulls up so I can only imagine what summer will hold. Sure, we spend all of our weekends together now but Monday always comes. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I just would like them more if they didn't annoy me so much. Sadie can't utter a word without whining or crying and there is also the door slamming, feet stomping as she's yelling that I am not fair. Oh and the constant need for entertainment. "Can I go here? Can my friend come over? and will you take me to five below."
Now Aaron isn't nearly as annoying. That is probably because he asks for little. However he has this annoying DS game that he has to make loud noises as he plays and after awhile he sounds like he has Turets.
All of this aside I still love summer and it is my favorite time of the year. And this year I am even keeping a few other kids a couple days a week. I figure mine will bother me way less if I have others to focus on. It also helps that I can drink this summer since I am not knocked up. I think beer companies should mail out coupons like baby formula companies do. Or better yet... the baby store should sell beer. Maybe I will add that to the comment card next time.
Happy Summer my friends!!!!

No lunchmeat for you!!

I am pretty sure it would not surprise anyone that the people that work at my grocery store know me. I go at least once a week. I shop at Food Lion which is never busy so I am thinking I am one of their best customers. It is not the fanciest place but the prices are good and the clerks are friendly except...
Lately I have been going to the store in the evening after work so that I don't have to take kids with me. I still know most of the employees, even the rude deli lady. Granted I am sure cutting ham and cheese is not the most fulfilling job but in this economy someone I am sure will take it. This particular lady has screwed my order up on more than one occasion (and I have never complained) and never responds as I say thank you. Well tonight as I suffer from exhaustion and am sick but still need to visit the store the nice deli lady told me she was closed. Well this sucks but okay I can make do. I finish shopping, head to the check out look at the clock to see that it is 8pm. I ask the clerk at the check out "what time does the deli close?" He says "8 pm".
Well isn't that nice. I did say I was done shopping and at the checkout by 8??
I have never complained that she is bitchy or that she screws up my order regularly but tonight she messed with the wrong customer. I complained to mangement. I even went as far as to tell him that now my kids had to eat the shitty processed cheese with the gross film you peel off since lazy deli bitch lied to me. I am pretty sure she won't mess with me again. Oh and btw she didn't even say she was closed nicely. Pretty sure this lady would be the waitress that wipes the mayo on the table.
Listen people.. I cut  hair when I don't feel like it. My husband  serves his customers even if the restaurant is ready to close. Jobs are hard to come by so don't be a jerk!
She will know it was me that complained and I will hold my head high as I order next time and I will make sure it is 7:55 pm. And maybe just for shits and giggles I will order in 1/4lb increments to make up my 3 lb order.

Dreams

I wake up everyday and do the same thing. I straighten up my messy home and attack my list of things to do. I also make myself a promise that I am going to stay organized and when I go to bed the dishes will be done and the house tidied up. I am not sure why i approach everyday this way instead of just realizing that there will be dishes in the sink and toys on the floor when I fall in the bed after a long day and only a partially completed to do list. In a perfect world everything is neat and in its place. I will achieve this goal when all my kids are grown and gone. Until then my basement and garage will remain hideously overflowing with useful and useless stuff.
The problem is that I need to accept that it is okay that I have messes and can't get through my daily lists. What I do have is a lot of little people and a few big ones that love me and make me smile (until 8pm when they all need to get out of my face.)
I guess it is okay to have dreams though... My dreams may be a little different than most though. I just want an orderly,spotlessly clean home. I want to wear a bikini again(not really.. just want to look like I can)I want my husband to lose his love handles but still love mine. (HA) but most of all I want happy kids.(OH I have that) So for shits and giggles.. I would most like to have an endless supply of money. This is why they call them dreams..
Sleep tight!!!

"Daddy dressed me"

How is it that when a kid looks a mess, clothes don't match, shoes don't match, hair isn't combed and they are with thier father people think....aww look at that cute kid, her father must've let her dress herself. 
However if that same cute little child was out with her mother people think....what  in the hell is that mother thinking? She clearly must not care about how her kids look. I hate to see what her house looks like...
How is this fair????
Truth is Char and Vi try to dress themselves all the time but I say "NO you are not wearing that!" This works most of the time for me. Of course the other day when we got to a party Char took her shoes off to reveal Christmas socks. I mean sometimes things do slip by me,  But Joey on the other hand, he doesn't even try to coerce them to wear something else. He took the girls out yesterday and Char was wearing shamrock pants with a ruffled skirt and a flowered shirt. Wish I could give you a visual. Should've taken a picture. Violet's outfit wasn't quite as bad but clearly noone got thier hair brushed. All of this would be fine if he had not brought them by my work for all to see. I would like to say that this is laziness on Joey's part but truth is I believe it is a true inability to understand what matches. There are many times I am sending all members of my home back into thier rooms to change. (Joey included)
I am thinking my wonderful husband chose the right profession. Thank God his cooking is better than his fashion sense.( and let me just say he can serve up a fine looking plate of food!)

Golden Family Kiddie Mobile

I remember when I was young I couldn't wait to start driving and to pick out my first car. I think it is the first thing you get that makes you feel like you are becoming an adult. I was so happy the first time I drove my 1984 Mustang. And like most kids I loved it until... I saw the shiny new cars sitting on the lots up and down Ritchie Hwy  and that's when it all began....
The endless years of car payments and by now I probably couldn't tell you all of the cars that have passed through my life but I can tell you I never had trouble finding one that fit my needs until now.  Once my suburban became a corvette I knew I was in trouble. Weeks of looking for a vehicle bigger than a suburban got many laughs from friends. Years ago big families just bought station wagons and piled in. That was before kids had to ride in car seats until college. Now it is crucial to have enough seats so as to not get arrested for kids sitting on the floor.
I am now the proud owner of the sexiest 12 passenger van in the Dena. I cannot be missed. So now I have plenty of room to drive many kids legally.
 I make sure I park my large intimidating vehicle right next to the jackass ex cop with 1 kid in the sports car at the preschool who called me out for letting my big kids watch my little kids while I walk Char into school. In the church parking lot where everyone has kids of their own and surely don't want mine nor could they even get them all out of the car to steal them by the time I get back! Yep.. I have been parking real close to his little mid life crisis Dodge Charger just to make him nervous..
Sometimes it's the little things...
Thinking I will downsize to a small Suburban in about 7 or 8 yrs!

Thanks Hon

Being fat after having a baby is an accepted phenomenon. To assure that people know that the baby caused it I usually take the baby everywhere (not really why I take the baby but this is an added bonus). This is also an excuse as I somewhat try to lose weight but yet still indulge in ice cream and fast food. Until...
Around the time my babies turn 5 or 6 months I start to get serious. I realize the new baby thing doesn't work anymore so I have to step up my exercise and actually diet. Diet is an awful word but it has to be done. I have pretty good will power except anyone that knows me can tell you that I love icecream. I could replace any meal with it and giving it up is very hard. It sucks but being chubby sucks more so I will deprive myself of tasty treats and eat protein shakes and veggies until I have shed all the LLLBBBs.
This all brings me to tonight...My loving husband announces that he is going to The Daily Scoop which is only my favorite place! How supportive of him to go buy yummy icecream and thinking that I am going to give in. It is like taking a junkie to a crack house. I asked for italian ice which is a compromise for me to have a treat of slightly less calories. I opened the freezer before I sat down for an evening of good tv and wouldn't you know..... that jackass only bought icecream. He thought I wasn't serious. Thanks hon for the support!  I am mad that I don't have a sweet treat. Guess I will never be supermodel thin if food can make me that mad!

21 TIMES 2

As I am approaching my 21st birthday for the second time I realize that I am not as old as that number looks. In many ways I like myself better than at 21. If  I didn't have grey hair and cellulite than all would be perfect. I actually would give little or no thought to my age if people would stop pointing out that I should stop having children because I am too old. Here is a revelation for all of you who think that I need a labotomy since I am crazy enough to enjoy my 6 kids..
 Trust me when I say there are worse things in life than having old parents. Keeping up with 6 kids is not for the weak or lazy. So next time one of you want to comment on my reproductive status remember I am probably one of the strongest people you know so I would watch out cause one day I just might have something to say back about your personal choices in life.
Also I want you to think about how many times you run into an elderly person as you are toting around your misbehaving children and looking a bit frazzled and they comment to you that you should cherish these years because they are truly the best years of your life. I know sometimes it does not feel that way but truly God is blessing me with a lot of good years then.
If you are waiting for your kids to grow up so you can start enjoying your life then I am supposing you made the right choice not to have a lot of children and I am glad for you and I am not criticizing your decision. Please don't critricize mine because I am not wanting them to grow and leave. I am happy to have a house of chaos and disorder.
God has a plan for all of us before we are even born. I would welcome another baby if God sees fit. It would be a great way to celebrate my 42 yrs on earth. We are all individuals because we are all different. I won't judge if I am not judged but watch out because I am human and you may not want my opinion of your life as you so freely give me yours about mine!