Change is not Easy

Change is not easy!

After 20 years in the same salon, it was hard to leave.  There were so many reasons to leave but not the ones that usually prompt a change.  

This summer was the summer of no tan, no swimming and no vacation for me.  I took on a new career or rather two new careers.  The first as the Coordinator of Pastoral care for the Archdiocese of Baltimore.  This lets me do work in a ministry area that is close to my heart by leading the chastity talks to the youth in our area, hoping to make a difference in the choices they make upon entering high school.  In other words, maybe they can do things in a better way than I did.  I also get to coordinate Project Rachel which helps women who are suffering from post abortive stress.  1 out of 3 women have had an abortion and many suffer the forbidden grief that Project Rachel tries to heal. 

As if that was not enough, I took on the position as Director of Community Life at St. Johns.  This position is about energizing our parish and engaging parishioners. As a "HOLY EVENT PLANNER" I hope to motivate parishioners to live in community and form lasting friendships, helping them to live an authentic family life. There is much work to be done and with the help of the Holy Spirit I hope to do the work I am called to effectively. In case you are wondering, I am still homeschooling and yes I do think I am a slight bit crazy. 

All of these changes make it quite impossible to work many hours as a stylist and God willing I will be able to retire from that sometime soon.  I have a relationship with my clients and I love them so I have to try and hang on at least for a while which means a change in salons for me. This is bittersweet because leaving to work with my cousin, Kim as she chose a new salon makes me happy but leaving the comfort of a place I have been for 20 years and a boss I loved is hard.  I worked with her for 20 years and watched her daughter grow up into a wonderful woman.  But on my last day there were no warm goodbyes, hugs or understanding of why.  There was just a text message asking me to leave my key. Heartbroken, I left and waited until I got into the car to cry.  I have to make a choice to remember the good times, be grateful for the opportunity my friend Donna has given me to continue to be a part time stylist and create new memories with a new team.  

For I know the plans I have you, says the Lord, plans for welfare, not for evil, to give you hope and a future...Jeremiah 29:11

Not so SUPER lice

This is my laundry room. I am sure you are wondering why I am sharing a photo of my messy laundry room. There is a load in the washer, dryer, and I already took two loads upstairs.  All of this is bedding from a lice infestation that hit the Golden Kiddie Ranch. I wonder myself how everyone, including myself ended up with lice. I really thought all the scratching Jillian was doing had to be dry scalp because there is no way we could have lice AGAIN. I think we just became "that family". We have had lice a few other times and my house may become the one kids are banned from visiting. Every time a kid within a ten mile radius gets lice they will probably be asked if they were at the Goldens'. Odds of getting lice do greatly increase in a large family. I have to keep saying that so I don't feel so crazy over it.  I no longer get rattled. I calmly pick microscopic sized nits and bugs from my children's hair repeating to myself that I did ask God to give me girls. I am thankful that they have their fathers straight and not very thick hair as well as I'm picking through their head like mama monkey (although I'm not eating them.) Now I hear there is a super lice going around. My 12 yr old informs me of this as I am desperately trying to find every last one. So now the worry is they won't die. Oh dear Lord, please no!!! Kids are sleeping in one room to avoid a laundry crime scene such as this in the coming days. By the way, lice picking would be easier if I had my under 40 eye sight back but I can do it. And I will do it every day for 3 weeks until I want to shave the girls heads and say it's a hot new trend. So this is a big apology to all my friends who itch every time I text the word lice. Thanks for not shunning us and remember if you think bad things about us you will have to go to confession. LOL! 

Having lice is nothing compared to what my dear friend Jeanette is going through right now.  She tragically lost her son during a very brief deployment. She sits and waits in foreign country to return with her son Nathan's body.  Her husband and other children wait for her return as they mourn the loss of a child and brother. We continue to pray for her safe return as well as the repose of the soul of Nathan. As I spoke with Jeanette, for a moment I was thankful we had lice when she actually laughed out loud when I told her. It was nice to hear her laugh although I am not sure why it is funny. Ok, it's a little funny. 

Please pray for the Sudano and McDavitt family in this time of grief. 

I'm back!

It has been quite a while since I have been inspired to write this blog.  As I look back I realize many of the blogs I posted don't reflect who I am now. I even thought about starting a new blog and leaving this in the past.  But that is not the answer because who I am is because of who I was. I am not ashamed of my silly posts because every situation has helped me to grow as a person, mother, wife and friend.  My family does funny things and I have not taken the time to share and that is going to change. I could spend hours writing about the trials and amusement of homeschooling alone.  As I reflect on the posts of the past I wrote during dark times while trying to find some humor in the situations that were tearing me apart.  Nothing and everything changed all at once.  I surrendered to the only One who could help me.  I surrendered slowly until my heart became full of love and forgivesness.  Now I am that wierdo, the "religous girl", church lady, etc... and that is okay.  I am still the same silly, miller lite drinking, camping girl but now I have someone tagging along with me in everything I do.  Everyone should get to know Him because you will never be alone again and I promise you can handle things much better with His help. The dark times I spoke about could not touch what this family overcame recently but as hard as they were I had hope.  
When the restaurant closed I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad.  I was so sad for Joey who had spent the last few years working hos fingers to the bone.  Sad that he was wronged by his partner when Joey is so honest.  I was happy for myself and the kids to have him back but unsure how he would fit back into our lives after so long.  And then the biggest obstacle we had to face was financial.  We struggled through for awhile and then nearly lost our home.  Stress was definitely the greatest struggle for me and daily I prayed for a solution to the situation so we were not on the street. Thank God for being granted a modification on our mortgage so we could stay in our home.  I realized that all the times I had longed for a nicer, bigger home that none of that matters. I have never been so happy to just keep our home. People have been generous to us, helping with the kids tuition and prayng for us. We are not fully recovered by any means but we are thankful, hopeful and happy. There are many other things that jumped in our way and knocked us down during the last 18 months but we kept getting back up and trudging forward. This family has faith, hope and love even when we are yelling at one another!
It is time to revive this blog and share my "Golden" moments at the "Golden Kiddie Ranch" so stay tuned for posts to come.
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.  Ps 118:24

Just one of those days, or not?

         By 9:30 this morning I was I  tears and I had screamed several times at my children.  School was well under way and there was whining.  Little kids were yelling and chasing bunnies, they had let out of the cage unbeknownst to me. I went down to change over the laundry to find a washed pull up in the machine. There was gel from the diaper everywhere and the piles on the floor were forming a small mountain. I lost it at that moment screaming the Lord's name in vain as Joey ran downstairs to see why I was so angry and then acting sorry enough for my luck went right back upstairs leaving the clean load and basket behind as he left. Needless to say I felt overwhelmed so I decided a hot shower may help. That may have done the trick only the shower was not hot since the washer and dishwasher was going and apparently my husband had just showered. So I took a cold shower and came out to find that my glasses which I knew I left on the kitchen counter were gone. Certain that a child took them;more yelling. So I call Joey, crying that no one helps me and my house is filthy. By this time Aaron and Sadie were well into their math lesson and luckily did not need my help(not sure they would have asked anyway). Just then as I ask Aaron why he has paused from his lesson, he tells me he was praying.....for me. Then after he finished checking his math work, he suggested we go onto our religion lesson because I should take some time to pray and maybe my day would get better. So we sat down and wouldn't you know that the lesson spoke of taking quiet time each morning with God before the day gets started. I had to admit to Aaron that I had skipped my prayer time this morning, which I try not to do. I prayed with my kids before we started school but I missed my one on one with HIM. I am pretty sure I learned more from the religion lesson today than he did. Thanks to my wonderful, faithful son my day did get better. Immediately after reading scripture with him I felt at peace. I found my glasses. They were on the dryer where I must have left them when I had my rant over the washing machine. Then the phone rang and Joey told me to be ready at 4 to go run errands because the cleaning lady would be here to lighten my load (we have not had a cleaning lady in a very long time). So now I sit as one child naps and another plays  while my big kids are snow tubing with my wonderful neighbor. I can write instead of clean and share how simple it was to convert my heart from attitude to gratitude. Thanks be to God! (and Aaron)

Love one Another, peacefully

One of the hardest things to do as a human being is to fight the urge to defend oneself against false accusations.  It takes great strength and courage to remain quiet as others whisper and spread lies.  It is so easy to tell someone to plead the fifth but so hard to hear it. In this age where news is at the click of a button and there are more than 5 ways to reach any individual at any time, peace is hard to find.  The term, think before you speak ,is rarely applied these days. Everyone is so inclined to post on facebook the thing they are feeling at that very moment that someone annoyed them.  Where is the cool down time? Remember that when you speak your mind against another it may make you feel liberated and free but what about the person who is being humiliated? As I began to write this post I thought about defending my husband and then I decided to practice what I preach. So I took time to think before I speak and decided that all I will say is this...
My family will hold our heads high and continue to be proud of the man who we love and who is the head of our home. I said "I do for better or worse" and I meant it. 
Always remember there are 3 sides to every story...His and his and the Lords..

Christmas blessings

We all want better for our kids.  I hear parents say it all the time.  I think to most parents better means, better education, friends, giving things that they didn't get to have as a child.  I am no better than other parents and want the same things for my brood.  I think I just may define it differently.
First and foremost, I want my children to have a relationship with God. A deep, meaningful relationship. 
As for the Christmas Experience....
I never remember going to church on Christmas, or giving back to the less fortunate with acts of charity. I always however remember LOTS of presents.  I probably couldn't tell you what one of those presents were now.
So I do want my children to have a "better" childhood and Christmas than I did but not in the conventional sense.  I want them to celebrate the birth of our Savior and give him gifts of love, praise, and glory through their acts of charity. I want them to carry on traditions that are important ( I don't mean the elf on the shelf).
Nothing made me more proud than my children's willingness to help out with giving to the homeless and I hope that it only grows from there. Even as little kids we would host a birthday party for Jesus and the kids would donate socks and mittens that we would deliver. I hope my children will remember their three gifts under the tree, not for what was in them but because Jesus received three.
 I want my children to have a love of all creatures.  It took me a long time to feel this love but really is the greatest gift. Some would say I take this to extremes with a dog, 4 chickens, 3 cats ( one that only has one eye and a crooked tail that we rescued.  It is no surprise that this year there will be 2 bunnies under the tree.  We really need a farm!
Ultimately, my goal as a parent is to make sure my children are lead to the gates of heaven after their journey here on earth.  What I want better for my kids is to have a better education, friends and things I didn't know I had which is the love of God. I want them to do all things for the glory of God and their lives will be just as they are supposed to be.
As for my Christmas wish and if you are looking for anything to add to your prayer list... There is an empty spot at our table and I have full trust in God that he will fill it in his way and in his time.

And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception, to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.  Pilippians 1:9-11
Merry Christmas to all! God Bless!

Summer catch up with the Goldens

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have written. It seems as though every time I picked up a computer I couldn't find a thing to say. That is very odd  for me I know. So this is a summer catch up of the Golden family.......
As always camping is great and I still get lots of looks pulling up in my big van with lots of kids, a dog and a 36 ft trailer. This has been a great season for all of us but me in particular. With only one in diapers and no more crib on the camper it's been easy. Many will laugh that it is easy with all those kids but they are so accustomed to it now that it's a breeze. Lucky for us we procrastinated and waited to long to book at Cherrystone and missed the tornado. Instead we spent a great week at Bethpage.
Thanks to spending some of my summer with Matthew Kelly I have a new philosophy on life which just makes all things easier.  As I am continuing my journey to becoming the best version of myself I am also living in the present day, not yesterday, not tomorrow. It really takes some stress out of things. Let's hope as I embark on my new journey of homeschooling that I can continue to remain patient in the present day. That is right, I am homeschooling Sadie. I like to keep things new and exciting and let's face it... If it never bothered me to hear what others say about me having all these kids nearing menopause I am surely not to be bothered by comments on homeschooling.
As always, I am sad to see summer wind down and have to get back to a more rigid routine. I'm definitely going to enjoy each and every last day of it and fill it with at least one more weekend trip. I will most assuredly miss the sun, pool, and my dear friend Miller Lite when summer goes. Hope you all enjoy the rest of yours...